quick update

just was made aware that i still have a xanga site.. lol. so i'm here to update it.

kurt was an ass, i left him after about 3 months and started dating dan for about a month, dan was an even bigger ass and so i left him and started dating carl for about 2, 2 1/2 months (i hope he chokes), he left me and i started dating jeremy, and at this point i'm having second thoughts--

it's hardly been a week, and he's already trying to tell me he wants to marry me?? Nah, I dont think I'm game for that just yet, not that fast. Plus he cries--over everything. EV-ER-Y-THING. I love a sensitive guy, but he's really a weenie. and, the dealbreaker, i can't be with someone who smokes pot, but he does, and --there are so many reasons this isn't going to work for me, but we feel so GOOD around each other otherwise, I dont' know.  I'll think about a way this might be able to work , but I don't think it will. I really don't.

New Love, New Beginnings

It's over. The bullshit is finally over. I was tossed aside for the last time on July 5th.

And, much to my pleasure, met one of the sweetest guys on the face of this Earth, and he's all MINE. :)

His name is Kurt (I'll withhold his last name for privacy--don't want to give out too much of your info on the www, babe).

We spent the entire day together yesterday. We did absolutely pointless crap the entire day, but yet I had more fun just being in his company than I have ever had with anybody. What really amazes me is, he actually seems like he cares. For whatever reason, I just didn't think I'd be good enough for him to really be "into." But, I underestimated myself by a long shot, because he's as crazy for me as I am for him.  (For those of you who have an apparent hatred for my "melodramatic" nature, hold your tongue and for God's sakes, unsubscribe already.)

I just had an amazing time with him, and I can't keep bragging about him to everybody I know.

Including you! ;)

http://black-rose-in-bloom.deviantart.com/art/Love-91706749

i am so dead...

lol... we're getting back together again. i know you're going to kill me for being so weak, but... i guess i'm a glutton for punishment. i made my fair share of mistakes too. hopefully we can both put all this stuff behind us and start over totally fresh. we both have a lot to improve on, so... i know a lot of people are going to be mad at me for taking him back but i can't really help myself. No matter how much he's hurt me, I love him more than anything, and he seems different this time. He seems like he's changing. Maybe we just needed the time apart to realize what we were doing wrong and what we needed to do to fix it. Well I guess we'll just see how things go this time around.

my current state of mind

http://black-rose-in-bloom.deviantart.com/art/To-Tyler-S-Lawson-87235849

Bad weather

Well... It's pretty nasty here. At least two tornadoes were spotted in our area. A couple places had power out for a short time. Thunder and lightning were and are constant. And rain? Talk about the rain! Most of the roads in Lynn Haven are flooded and closed; most of Tyndall Parkway, the main road I take to get to and from work, is flooded and just about closed--the water was up to the top of my tires, up to the headlights in some spots; there's a whole list of roads in Panama City that are closed because of flooding. The water was so deep that my brakes were essentially inoperative. I stalled twice on the way home--normally just a mile or so. Imagine, me in a little ol' Cavalier trying to forge my way home through an entire foot, maybe a foot and a half, of water. My mom drove her car into a ditch because of the water limiting the visibility of the road. Memaw ditched her car as well, but it doesn't seem too serious. Thankfully, nobody was hurt. Three different rooms in our house are leaking. And to think that this weather isn't supposed to end until late tomorrow night or the next morning. I'm thinking that we'll soon need a motorboat to navigate our own house if this keeps up. :(

Renee